Don't worry, this review doesn't have the F word, you have no idea how hard it is to not say fadoodle, DAMN IT!
"Postal 2" was released in 2003 for PC, 2004 for Mac, and for Linux. "Postal 2" was developed by Running with Scissors, a horrifying company name, that has developed the entire "Postal" franchise. Running with Scissors was founded in 1997.
"Postal 2" was banned in New Zealand for many reasons and in Germany as one of the games removed that were deemed harmful to younger players, according to various reports at the time. "Postal 2: Share the Pain," an updated version with multiplayer, was refused classification in Australia.
Germany and Australia tend to hate games with violence (ex. gore), so games like this being banned there isn't uncommon. New Zealand has a smaller list of banned games and banned it for more than just being very violent. You'll, uh... You'll see why they banned it in this review.
I'll be playing the Steam version of "Postal 2."
The Ballad of The Postal Dude
"Postal 2" is about The Postal Dude, who does errands from Monday to Friday for his wife in the town of Paradise like getting his paycheck, getting milk, and more. The weekend is more linear with The Postal Dude's goals changing often, which admittedly isn't as interesting, and even sloppy at times.
Although, because "Postal 2" runs on "South Park" logic, things aren't easy. Which is a fancy way of saying a lot of people will die. The story is a fun time as it's comedic while also not taking itself seriously. While not every joke works, and I'm not a fan of the offensive content in the game, like in "South Park," there is a merit to it.
It does display some of the absurd natures of the world during 2003, which while exaggerated, can supply grounded takeaways. Whether you agree with these or not is up to you, but it's still interesting to think about.
It's also up to the player if they want to kill anyone or not. Which is so ironic given it's so controversial because of its violence, yet the violence is optional. For example, when the player goes to get milk, they can either wait in line & pay or try to steal it which results in a gunfight with offensive stereotypes.
The gun fight is not the easier option, as the player risks losing ammo, health, and spending more time than if they just waited to buy the milk. This is especially risky as this mission is on Monday, where the player doesn't have a lot of ammo nor weapons.
Even when the player is encouraged to kill, it's in self-defence. If someone shoots at The Postal Dude first, he has every right to kill them with scissors.
It's up to the player on whether to complete these mundane tasks like a normal person, or lose patience and decide to murder everyone. It's this nonlinear design that makes "Postal 2" so much fun, the player is given a lot of freedom with how to go about their errands. It helps to add replay value as most errands have multiple outcomes.
This freedom also extends to the town of Paradise itself, which is also open-ended with plenty of items and secrets to find.
One common annoyance I did run into with exploration was how the item you pick up goes into the quick-select slot (above the player's health). Sometimes when I wanted to heal, I'd accidentally do drugs, I hate it when that happens. No, seriously, drugs are an item in this game, with a withdrawal effect too.
The exploration is rewarding as players can find new weapons, ammo, healing items, and more by traversing buildings, rooftops, and defy physics by walking on electrical wires. It also helps to make Paradise easier to memorize in terms of where to go and where shortcuts are.
Different items spawn on different days too, so for example one area can be empty one day while on a specific day it'll have one of the most overpowered weapons. This keeps the exploration refreshing since an area you already explored could have a bunch of new surprises to find.
However, the player can always use the map to see where they are and where they must go. The maps also highlight areas like the Asylum that also holds items to find.
Asylums, am I right? I sure hope I'm not.
This in turn makes the weapons more rewarding to find as the player went out of their way to find them. As for the weapons... There are a LOT. Excluding the DLC, there are over 30 weapons to find. From melee weapons to guns like a pistol or shotgun, explosives, and many more.
All these weapons are fun to use, with a good part of them being gory to use. Unlike in "Corpse Party" where the gore is used for horror, in "Postal 2" it's used to give weight to the weapons and for comedy. Some weapons can blow off or even destroy body parts, which works to give these weapons proper impact for when they're used.
For example, the Sawed-Off Shotgun, Scythe, and Sledgehammer can destroy body parts easily, but destroying someone's body part is huge in combat situations. For most enemies, that's an instant kill. So, the gore isn't just for the sake of being shocking, there is a way to use it for strategy.
The game also has an... Er... Urination mechanic... The Postal Dude can unzip his pants and aim his urine. Yes, this can be aimed at people. Yes, this does make them vomit. Yes, this is the only way to extinguish yourself if The Postal Dude is on fire. Yes, I do hate myself for writing this paragraph...
This is only scratching the surface of "Postal 2," there are a variety of items and mechanics in the game. The Postal Dude can be arrested, change into different outfits, kick people & doors, and more.
As you can tell by now, the game is tasteless and offensive. It offends all sorts of groups, hence the "South Park" comparison earlier. You would not believe the number of things I can't bring up because of the offensive stuff.
However, the offensive nature gives "Postal 2" its identity. Sure, it's not an identity I'm a fan of, but it makes "Postal 2" stand out from a lot of first-person shooters, well, for better or for worse.
However, when "Postal 2" isn't being offensive, it can be hilarious. While not every joke works, when a joke lands, it lands hard. It's clear the game isn't taking itself seriously. My favourite joke is on Saturday, which had me dying of laughter.
Paradise isn't Such a Paradise
"Postal 2" makes Paradise a shockingly grounded place in terms of atmosphere and visuals. This really does look like a real town with unremarkable buildings, fitting ambience, and music that only plays when it realistically would like on the radio. In fact, music is barely present in the game.
The NPCs even have lengthy A.I. paths, some of which choose to attack police of their own accord. It makes Paradise feel alive. Granted, not realistic since most people’s schedules don’t involve random acts of violence, but it makes Paradise immersive.
However, I find this to be a double-edged sword because while it's realistic to have Paradise be a dull town with nothing visually or audibly stunning... Buildings have forgettable designs making for lackluster level design; none of the music stands out; and music is rare, which makes the game look and sound plain.
This results in multiple areas lacking memorable set-pieces, which makes a lot of areas dull. I get that's the point, but it also means I can't remember any of the buildings in the entire game... And I've played the game twice, Monday four times. I just really like Mondays.
I'll give credit that the character models are memorable, they look good for the sixth generation of gaming. The Postal Dude himself has a simple, but memorable design.
The voice-acting is also great too, the characters all act their roles well. While a few voices sound off, I assume that's just for comedic effect.
Thankfully, none of this breaks the immersion with "Postal 2," but you know what does? Crashes and glitches. It's no exaggeration when I say "Postal 2" is unstable. Ragdoll physics are janky, bodies hover mid-air or freeze in place, clipping problems are frequent, soft locks are prevalent, and crashes are unfortunately common.
Most of this is noticeable but whatever, but the crashes seriously hurt the game and break the immersion. They're frustrating too as they happen randomly, which makes it easy to lose a lot of progress. I've had crashes on loading screens, when fighting enemies, even when I was trying to pause the game.
If this happened while I was playing with mods, I'd understand, but I didn't have any mods when these crashes happened. The only consistency I found was that the Uncle Dave's Birthday Party level consistently crashed often.
So yeah, don't be afraid to Alt Tab and open a YouTube playlist to listen to your favourite Patrick coughing mixtape while playing "Postal 2." Also make sure to pray that the game doesn't crash at the same time.
Enhanced Mode More Like... Un-hanced Mode... I Do Birthday Parties
After beating "Postal 2," the player unlocks Enhanced Mode, which enhances multiple weapons both good and bad. For example, equipping the scissors makes The Postal Dude run faster. A bad enhancement, however, would be the Hunting Rifle where bullets explode on impact, which just hindered me.
At first, Enhanced Mode was awesome. You can infinitely throw Scythes, Sledgehammers, Machete boomerang, and there's no cap on how much ammo guns can carry, and more. My only complaint at first playing is how most cutscenes couldn't be skipped.
However, overtime Enhanced Mode made me realize the biggest flaws with "Postal 2," but also its greatest strength.
Enemies are repetitive as they engage with the same strategies and weaponry. Apart from a new enemy on Saturday, dogs, and the soldiers, nearly every enemy can be dealt with in the same way.
Enemies also don't challenge the player's strategizing. Most enemies aren't immune to any weapons, while the soldiers can take some melee weapons, they can't take all of them. There's nothing stopping me from just using the scythe to defeat everything, which is what I did.
I think therefore bosses are underwhelming too, because they end up feeling like bullet sponges which, again, didn't challenge any of my prior strategies. In fact, catnip and a rocket launcher breaks the final boss.
Enhanced Mode also spawns every weapon from Monday, meaning almost every weapon can be obtained before doing your first errand. However, that also removes any long-term incentive to explore. The weekend days have this problem too, due to the more linear level design, levels aren't as open-ended.
Speaking of the weekend, it has multiple problems. From Sunday which drags on, the story being all over the place, the repetitive levels that go on for far too long, the pathetic bosses, having to fight Gary Coleman far too much, and more.
However, these flaws made me realize why "Postal 2" is a fun time, the exploration. The game encouraged exploration by finding items, weapons, and more, especially with the differing spawns. It gives buildings and areas in Paradise purpose. Without this, Paradise and "Postal 2" feels naked.
Don't get me wrong, "Postal 2" still has decently fun shooting mechanics with both Enhanced Mode and the weekend being a fun time, the latter has the iconic Pigeon Mission. Although, I won't deny the shooting mechanics are quite basic.
For me, it's the cleverly designed exploration that makes "Postal 2" stand out to me and what kept me invested.
Beyond Paradise
However, the mods from the Steam Workshop certainly add more spice to "Postal 2." Some mods even fix several of the problems I've listed above, including: ragdoll physics, more weapons to find & use, and many more.
I've personally used the Time Stopper mod the most. It was extremely helpful with getting screenshots for this review for more...
"Cinematic" angles. Also, it's just fun to use, I love time stopping mechanics so much.
The game also has cheat codes like turning on slow mode or making every NPC Gary Coleman. You can never have too much Gary Coleman.
Although do be aware these disable achievements for the file with mods. The achievements themselves are, well they carry the same spirit of the game in both name and what must be done to unlock them.
Overall (B)
Look past the offensive aspects of the game, which I understand is hard for some, and "Postal 2" is a neat time. The story is enjoyable, the exploration is well-executed, the freedom is excellent, Paradise captures the feeling of a real town well, and there's plenty to do.
Unfortunately, "Postal 2" can be offensive, the presentation is dull, the music is lackluster, the game is unstable, crashes are frustrating, the level design is boring, the enemies are repetitive, and I only enjoyed Monday to Friday in normal mode.
"Postal 2" is worth giving a try, especially when it's on sale. This goes for around $1CDN which is an insane steal given the game's length vastly exceeds one hour, even 10 hours.
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